Home Again

It was a rough ending to World Championships. Although I was extremely proud of my team, the girls and I were very disappointed.
It was quite an emotional ending. The USA qualified two spots for the Olympics and both Carrie Johnson, Jordan Malloch, and Rammi Zur all had outstanding races. We're so proud of them.

What I was really moved by over the trip, was the way the team came together. I've been around the sport since 2001 and I have never seen a team as united as this team was. I was so happy to have experienced it.

Over the course of the summer my relationship with paddling has evolved and transformed. To be honest, at the beginning of the year there were times when I despised paddling and wanted nothing to do with it.

That, I believe, was because I was paddling very selfishly. I wasn't sharing my experiences with even my closest family. When you're not sharing your experiences (good or bad) it puts so much pressure on you that it loses a lot of meaning.

While laying by the beautifull lake of Pusiano Italy I changed my view. It was an epiphany of sorts. There, under the Italian sun I gave up paddling for myself. I told myself "I will enjoy it and love it because I will find the joy in effort everyday" but I began paddling for my family, for my team, for my country, and for our future. Paddling was only selfish for me because I made it completely selfish and most of the time I embraced that.

As soon as I got home from Europe I flew to National Championships. I was keeping my word as a National Team athlete to make an appearance at Nationals. This is a somewhat controversial subject. For the National Team, Nationals isn't a very important race and most of the time the team has just finished there most important race of the year. Its hard for the athletes to motivate themselves to attend a race that isn't as prestigious, especially when its not funded.

I cannot explain the amount of value I got out of attending Nationals. My club team Rockaway Olympic Canoe/Kayak sponsored my air fair (THANK YOU). I also began remembering where I came from as an athlete. I realized, even though I had a very disappointing race at Worlds I have come so far. Less than ten years ago I was attending my first Nationals and barely making it down the course. I also spent time with kids from my club who could be the most talented I've ever seen come out of Rockaway (thanks to Hannah Menke coaching).

In 2000 I raced at New York Empire State Games. I got multiple medals in different events. Hannah Menke raced canoe against the men because there isn't a canoe event for women. Obviously, being new to her event and racing against men twice her age and size she didn't get a medal. I gave her one of mine saying "you worked just as hard as everyone else, its important for you to have this". She didn't want to take it, but I told her she could give it back when she medal ed at the regatta. At Nationals this week Hannah Menke handed me back an Empire State Games medal that had the year 2000 on it. She medal ed this year, still racing against men twice her size and age. I don't know if Hannah knows how much that medal means to me, especially coming out of World Championships.

Aside from all my profound epiphany's (haha) about paddling, I have made some business decisions as well. I'm taking quite a risk this fall by not working at The Bitter End (my fabulous employer) as much as last year. Financial instability is always a worry for athletes. I decided to commit myself fully to my sport. Not just to train my butt off...but to really try to expand the paddling community, create more media exposure, and really make a difference in people's lives by sharing my experience.

My goals over the next year include but are not limited to, in no specific order:

#1 Getting enough athletic sponsorship that I don't have to work
#2 Travel to different states and train with and help coach developing clubs (first trip will hopefully be to Gig Harbor this fall!)
#3 Share my story with 10,000 people
#4 Transform the image of paddling into something that will be more widely appreciated
#5 Qualify for the Olympic Games
#6 Be part of and help create the strongest Olympic Team the USA has ever seen


Please support me in these goals!!!

Thank you to all my readers, it makes me so happy to know everyone is enjoying my pictures! More to come soon from Nationals!!