the life in "life and art"

My mom placing top 3 at a Lake Placid Kayak Regatta.


My mom is a musician, a pianist. She has been playing the piano since she was four years old. In my view and most of the world's view, she's a master at music, even though in her eyes she's probably not.


I remember being 12 years old; profoundly jealous of her having a "one true passion". My mother, was lucky enough to have discovered that ONE thing she could spend all her life doing, passionately. What were the chances?

As a home-schooled 12 year old I was distracted and inattentive. I had interest in everything but passion for nothing, which was the cause of many unfinished projects. I wanted to work with animals one day, be a reporter the next. I was a rock-star, a clothing designer, a florist, and a teacher. I took karate, kayaked, and rock-climbed.

When I was 13 I went to my first National Championships for kayaking; I loved the energy but competed horribly. At 14 I spent a month interning for my Aunt, a Flower shop owner in Edmonds Washington, my first exposure to a true entrepreneur. I played my first gig when I was 15; playing guitar and singing my own compositions at an Italian restaurant. But still no true passion.

I was always athletic, but never passionate about one sport specifically. Finally, I just decided to keep paddling even if I wasn't passionate about it. I kept paddling everyday for 8 years. I ended up being pretty good.

I loved training for races, but I still couldn't embrace "kayaking" as my one true passion. I asked myself "could I keep paddling passionately for the rest of my life?". I cringed at the thought and it even made me a little depressed, "absolutely not".

Kayaking got really painful for me. I didn't progress the way I should, it became more about selection, politics, and qualifying for teams than anything else. I still did okay, but no miracles.

After I reviewed the Landmark Forum I realized I could choose what I could be passionate about, and create it.
I knew for sure I didn't want to keep kayaking until I was 90 years old. However, there was still something there for me in the dimension of sports.

The Olympic movement inspired me. The Olympic movement is about communities coming together, through adversity, and on some level or another, reaching a new spiritual plain through sports and making miracles happen.

I was passionate about that, for sure.

My last year of kayaking I fully embraced it all and loved each moment. I also raced 500m in 1:57 seconds, which was a personal best for me. Even after I didn't qualify for the 2008 Olympic Games, I let myself continue to love it and love what I was part of, knowing that I would be moving on from kayaking after that.

I retired from kayaking about 15 months ago. Outwardly it may look like my career has changed, but it really hasn't. My sport has changed and I'm making a little more money now -laugh- but I still share athletic possibility everyday. Its my job, my career, my passion, my hobby, my talent, and my gift. I never got to be a World Champion Kayaker (top 12 at World Champs had to do) and I may never be the best Crossfitter (I may try though), I'm definitely not the best yogi or swimmer, I'm a decent runner, and a pretty sad dancer. But I get to share athletics with all of my communities; my family, my friends, my guests, my future boyfriends, my one-day children, my original crossfit crew, my lululemons, and anyone else I meet along the way. That I can passionately do for the rest of my life, in many shapes and forms.

Athletics is my life; my spirit, my body, my family, and my community. Its the context that connects it all.


My brother representing USA at Junior World Championships.