Hi Everyone,
I just finished my last race of the weekend.
I did not get the results I wanted. However, I'm very complete. I had an outstanding doubles (K2) race yesterday. I got 2nd which makes my boat the alternate boat to compete at the second Olympic qualifier and/or the Olympic Games. The kayak-four got second as well. My team was amazing. We were so committed to being a team and we came together in a way that made this experience unbelievably moving for me. When we completed our race, placing second, we finished with our hearts on the line.
Yes, it hurts beyond belief...I imagine this is what it feels like to end an 8 year relationship...but it was okay to feel so hurt. I acknowledged that its part of feeling alive; to feel that sickeningly hurt. But I know I put everything into it...everything. I also know that I'm an amazing athlete and I'm so proud to be where I am and to be capable of what I know I'm capable of. I can do 40 pull-ups. heh.
My younger brother won his doubles(K2) race yesterday. I had just gotten off the water from competing in my race, so I missed his. Then someone said "yeah your brother won". I burst into tears...my baby brother just won Olympic Trials! I'm the proudest big sister in the world. He also said to me "well, if you hadn't done what you've done with kayaking, I wouldn't be here."
He has kind of followed in my foot steps over the years...and seeing him do well is also seeing a part of me do well and knowing that I've had a hand in helping create that with him.
When you feel this much pain over a two minute race, it is moving. You feel connected to everything around you. I can't even describe it...but somehow it feels good to feel this incredibly heartbroken. That may or may not make sense.
This takes nothing away from the magical year I've had training for the Olympic Games. The Olympic movement is fully alive in my spirit and I've had the opportunity to learn an unmeasurable amount of things this year...about training, committment, spirituality, and communtiy.
I just wanted to share that with you all.
Thanks for being part of this goal with me.
So, now what right?
Well, after a gigantic ice cream sundae with every topping imaginable...anything is possible.
Miracles happen in life and in sport, and that will always be where I stand.
Love, Susannah
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Paddle for Peace
The goal of Paddle for Peace is to expose children ages 8-17 to sports (kayaking) with the intention of bringing the possibility of uniting through competition and athletics to every community.
Paddle for Peace is designed to practice the fundamentals of team-work, sportsmanship, and excellence in a fun, diverse, and committed environment.
Debut trip held at San Diego Canoe/Kayak Team Clubhouse...
San Diego Canoe/Kayak Team hosted the first paddle excursion for the Southern Sudanese Community Center. Ten girls between 10 and 15 years old participated in the event. Life-jackets were donated by Lois and Gunter Hofman, who have been sailing around the world for the past eight years. A few years ago Lois and Gunter visited Sudan and upon returning to the USA decided wanted to get involved with the Sudanese Community.
Thank you SDCKT and Lois and Gunter!!
Paddling Success...
The girls were a little hesitant to get in the water right away because it was so chilly, but by the end they were splashing around without a problem. Among the 10 girls there were quite a few who took to paddling quite quickly. I was really impressed!
Most of the residence in Southern Sudan get all their food from fishing in Kayaks in the Nile. Its interesting to think about the connection there.
Future Olympians...
When everyone finished I got the girls together to thank Lois and Gunter and the San Diego Canoe/Kayak Team coaches. Dep Tauny the Executive Director of the Southern Sudanese Community Center spoke briefly. He said it was a great opportunity for the girls and among them will be great leaders and potential Olympians. SDCKT also invited all the girls back to Saturday morning training sessions.
The Olympics...
Leading up to the Olympics I've become more and more aware of the underlying goal of the Olympic Games, which is to connect people through sports. Yes, I'm pursuing athletic perfection and excellence in my sport...but the most inspiring part is to take part in something with a cause that I I completely recognize with.
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Mandala of Paddling
With thousands of sand grains, Buddhist Monks create Sand Mandalas. They spend days meticulously placing the grains in intricate designs and patterns. The result is breathtaking. The practice is to symbolize the perfect universe, the impermanence of all that exists, and establish a feeling of peace and wholeness for its viewers. Soon after it’s finished, it's dismantled. It’s taken apart to practice non attachment and allow the energy to move on.
In the past eight years I’ve paddled close to 20,000 miles. Morning, after morning I wake up and work on stroke after stroke attempting to perfect technique. All while balancing on a kayak so tippy it’s like climbing up a tricky rope ladder at carnival, hoping to reach the stuffed monkey before flipping over. Then, to some, my achievement is measured in less than 120 seconds.
As it grows close to my final season racing kayaks, I find the Mandala tradition increasingly similar to my experience as a paddler.
When becoming an elite kayaker, the improvements you see in your performance seem minuscule. If your strength increases 5% it’s considered a breakthrough. If your stroke length improves a fraction of an inch, it makes a difference.
Each grain of sand in a Mandala, although diminutive, is essential for the complex design being created. I believe patience and focus during the process is where true fulfillment is reached.
In kayaking, every tiny physical improvement brings you one step closer to becoming a perfect paddler and an exceptional athlete.
When you're sitting at the starting line of a race that's less than two minutes long and years of training have built up to that moment, you can easily become absorbed with the perception that achievement is based on the result. Kayakers/athletes spend an enormous amount of time anticipating that moment, analyzing what it means and how they will deal with it.
Creating and dismantling the Mandala is an outstanding practice to become unattached. With attachment comes expectation, and both prevent you from living in the present. Being in the present or 'zone' is the most powerful way to perform athletically. By being in the present you are able to focus on each movement perfectly; without fear, anticipation, or confusion.
The Buddhist monks practice focus and commitment throughout the process and yet keep themselves unattached to the result. After spending days or weeks constructing a Mandala, the artist then disassembles it and pours it into a nearby stream or river.
My belief is that the achievement is in the modus operandi and the evolution of oneself through paddling and not in the race result. As a wise coach once said to me “It’s all about the process.”
In the past eight years I’ve paddled close to 20,000 miles. Morning, after morning I wake up and work on stroke after stroke attempting to perfect technique. All while balancing on a kayak so tippy it’s like climbing up a tricky rope ladder at carnival, hoping to reach the stuffed monkey before flipping over. Then, to some, my achievement is measured in less than 120 seconds.
As it grows close to my final season racing kayaks, I find the Mandala tradition increasingly similar to my experience as a paddler.
When becoming an elite kayaker, the improvements you see in your performance seem minuscule. If your strength increases 5% it’s considered a breakthrough. If your stroke length improves a fraction of an inch, it makes a difference.
Each grain of sand in a Mandala, although diminutive, is essential for the complex design being created. I believe patience and focus during the process is where true fulfillment is reached.
In kayaking, every tiny physical improvement brings you one step closer to becoming a perfect paddler and an exceptional athlete.
When you're sitting at the starting line of a race that's less than two minutes long and years of training have built up to that moment, you can easily become absorbed with the perception that achievement is based on the result. Kayakers/athletes spend an enormous amount of time anticipating that moment, analyzing what it means and how they will deal with it.
Creating and dismantling the Mandala is an outstanding practice to become unattached. With attachment comes expectation, and both prevent you from living in the present. Being in the present or 'zone' is the most powerful way to perform athletically. By being in the present you are able to focus on each movement perfectly; without fear, anticipation, or confusion.
The Buddhist monks practice focus and commitment throughout the process and yet keep themselves unattached to the result. After spending days or weeks constructing a Mandala, the artist then disassembles it and pours it into a nearby stream or river.
My belief is that the achievement is in the modus operandi and the evolution of oneself through paddling and not in the race result. As a wise coach once said to me “It’s all about the process.”
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